Premarital Counseling

We’re excited for your engagement and for all that God will do as you move toward marriage. Thank you for the privilege of assisting you and your fiancée as you seek out pre-marital counseling at Lighthouse.

Why Premarital Counseling?

  1. To help you build a solid, biblical foundation as you start your marriage. We will spend a lot of time in Scripture and thinking through biblical ideas as they apply to marriage. Specifically, we will look at how marriage exists to display the gospel revealed through the love of two spouses who seek to display Christ to one another. This gospel shaped love exists between a couple in marriage to sanctify the couple, encourage their worship of Christ, and to be a living testimony of Christ’s covenantal love for the church.
  2. To help you begin a dialogue about your marriage. There are a host of topics (communication, finances, sex, parenting, etc.) that we think are important to consider before you get married. The good news is that the conversation we are beginning is a life-long process. We’ll solve some problems, but many others will be left for you to work though over the course of your entire marriage
  3. To identify areas of concern in your relationship. We are all sinners. No relationship is perfect. Despite all of your premarital bliss, you are going to have problems, conflict, and struggles in your relationship. We want to help you address these difficulties sooner rather than later. So, the more honest you are about your struggles, the more you will facilitate the pastor’s ability to help you in preparation for marriage.
  4. To help you know your own heart and the idols that pull you from Christ. Because the goal of marriage is to display the love Christ showed us through the gospel, we need to know how Christ tends to be replaced in the individual hearts of the couple. The most vital way for a husband to lead his wife is to know her heart and help her fight sin so she can more faithfully worship Christ. Likewise, the most vital way for a wife to help her husband is to know his heart and help him fight sin so he can faithfully worship Christ and lead the family toward Christ better.
  5. To prepare you for the marriage, and not just the wedding day. We often find that couples get caught up in the frantic details of preparing for the wedding day, and don’t spend much time getting ready for the marriage. Premarital counseling is meant to slow you down and help you think about the relationship. The wedding day marks the beginning of your life together, but the marriage will last for the rest of your life. So, it is good for you to take time to prepare for this life- long journey together.

What’s required for Premarital Counseling?

  • Six-month timeline: Premarital counseling involves at least six sessions with one of our pastoral staff, held over the course of six months. Please consider this six-month requirement as you consider when to apply for premarital counseling and when to schedule your wedding day.
  • Membership: To receive premarital counseling, at least one person must be a member of Lighthouse Community Church.
  • Heartwork Preparation: You will be asked to complete different readings and submit heartwork prior to each session. These will involve the study of God’s Word, self-reflection, time with the Lord, and conversation with your fiance. If you are unable to complete the homework please contact your counselor to reschedule your meeting.
  • Non-Sunday Wedding (if possible): Our pastors prefer to officiate weddings on days other than Sundays. Having your wedding on a day other than Sunday will greatly help with finding an available pastor for you.

What is covered in Premarital Counseling?

We use Rob Green’s Tying the Knot as a guide for premarital counseling. Topics addressed include:

  • Jesus as the Center of Life and Marriage
  • Biblical Love
  • Conflict Resolution
  • Roles and Expectations
  • Communication
  • Finances
  • Community
  • Intimacy

How do we get started?

Both fiancés will fill out individual premarital personal data inventories (PDI) and send them to counseling@lighthousesouthbay.org. The purpose of the PDI is to help us know how we can best serve you and to help raise the issues we see as vital to discuss before marriage. We understand that this form will contain personal information. Once we receive the form it will be kept confidential and shared only with the pastoral staff involved with your premarital counseling. Please email counseling@lighthousesouthbay.org with any questions

F.A.Q.

If there is a particular pastor or counselor at Lighthouse that you would like to perform your wedding and conduct premarital counseling, you can feel free to contact that pastor directly. Otherwise, once we receive your premarital PDI, our counseling ministry will find an available pastor to provide counsel and to officiate your wedding.

If it is not possible to hold the minimum of six sessions over the course of six months, then the church may still provide premarital counseling, but you will need to find a non-Lighthouse pastor to perform the ceremony.

There are many elements that may be part of a wedding ceremony. Lighthouse asks that at least these seven elements be included: Welcome and Invocation, Declaration of Intent, Question to the Parents, Homily, Exchange of Vows, Exchange of Rings, and Pronouncement.

Your wedding day is an important event in the life of your families. While parental disapproval may not prevent our involvement in your wedding, we want to look carefully at the issues raised by your parents and work toward a peaceful resolution.

No. Because we view the counseling at Lighthouse as a vital part of discipleship, all counseling is provided free of charge. However, we highly encourage giving a thank you gift to your counselor and wedding officiant as a token of appreciation for all their hard work.

Yes. You can also have co-officiants if you would like two pastors to perform your wedding (e.g. two pastors from Lighthouse, or a pastor from Lighthouse and a pastor from a different church).

Yes. For more information on booking Lighthouse Community Church please complete the event request form.

If you have any questions or if your wedding is less than three months away, please contact info@lighthousesouthbay.org before completing the event request.

Recent Resources from Counseling