Advent Calendar for Couples

This Christmas we wanted to give couples an advent calendar that would encourage Christ-centered conversations. For each question, both partners should take turns answering. Several of these would apply more to marriage than to dating, so feel free to reword the question so that it applies better to your relationship season. Consider these passages to help with answering
the following questions: Philippians 2:3-8; Matthew 22:34-40; 1Corinthians 12:4-13:7; Romans 12:1-21; & Ephesians 4:1-13, 25-32.

  1. Write a purpose statement for your relationship, consider how your love as a couple is part of God’s story of redemption. What truths from Scripture help inform your purpose statement?
  2. How is your relationship with God currently impacting your relationship with each other? What can you do together to help one another grow in your personal walks with God?
  3. Are you aware of the specific idols and worship struggles that take place in your partner’s heart? How can you grow to come alongside each another?
  4. Are you honest with each other in a way that builds up your relationship with wisdom? In what ways do emotions, desires, and fears distort the messages you need to share with each other?
  5. What is one area of life you’d like to talk about more in your relationship? Take time now to discuss it.
  6. What is one “petty concern” or “pet peeve” you have not yet expressed to your partner? However small and quiet, these small expressions of anger can be opportunities to build the relationship and show that you value your partner’s insight. Humbly discussing what bothers you will build honesty, vulnerability, and understanding in your relationship. Take time now to humbly express your preference to your partner in a way that invites them to respond and helps you consider your heart. (e.g. – I feel this mild irritation when I see your clothes on the back of the chair. What about that preference do you think could be helpful to us and what could be dangerous?)
  7. Take turns sharing the top three dates you’ve had together. What about those dates made the occasions special and encouraging?
  8. What is one answer to prayer from this year that has been particularly encouraging to your relationship?
  9. What is one task from this year that required you to work together as a team? What did God show you about each other through it?
  10. Share one goal with each other for this coming year that you would like to consider having for your relationship. What makes this goal important to you?
  11. Every season of relationship brings unique challenges and blessings. What have been some of the unique challenges and blessings in your relationship this season?
  12. Share about a time when you were hurting and your partner moved toward you with love. How did you see God’s grace on display in that moment?
  13. Choose one picture of your kids from this year and share the memory that makes that picture so significant.
  14. Choose three positive adjectives that describe the strengths of your relationship. Talk about why you chose the words you did. Share some Scripture verses that help explain these ideas.
  15. What is one area of parenting where you want to team up more as you shepherd your children?
  16. What are some of the challenges you experience when it comes to loving your partner when they are hurting? How could the gospel help you move toward your partner when you see them in pain?
  17. Why is unity in diversity so important in a relationship? How have you seen this in your relationship? Where would you like to see it more?
  18. Where do you see humility in your partner? How have you seen God pour out grace on your family because of your partner’s humility?
  19. How does the image of “one-flesh” inform how you live in your relationship day to day?
  20. Discuss one way your partner has helped you magnify God and worship him more this year.
  21. Why is empathy such an important part of relationship? Where have you seen it? Where would you like to see it more?
  22. What are some specific ways you are seeking to fulfill your role in this relationship? Do these roles mainly focus on a division of responsibilities or do they clarify the unique ways you are able to point each other to Christ?
  23. Discuss how sin is currently dealt with in your relationship. How frequently do you confess your wrongs and offer forgiveness? Do you currently feel reconciled? What are some ways you can grow in this?
  24. How do you currently handle differences that you recognize in your relationship? What are some ways you could demonstrate appreciation and grace in the face of differences?
  25. Share about what it was like to complete this advent activity this year. How do you think it could help shape your relationship as you approach 2020?